The Monster Will Get You

Some time ago we went on holiday to France. We were staying in a complex that had a large swimming pool that closed at 8pm. At about 7-45 one of the mothers would announce to her children that the "monster was coming". This would cause her brood to flee the pool in fear. One evening I was taking the night air when one of the small children form the mother's family grabbed me by shirt tails and, with fear filled eyes, urged me to return to my apartment before I was consumed by the monster. I now suspect that the child was in some way related to Nick Seaton of the Campaign for Real Education.

Please read his latest post "Teacher unions propose egalitarian nightmare" - if only for a laugh.

Nick Seaton Strikes Again

Nick Seaton, of the "Campaign For Real Education", has posted on today's ConservativeHome that the apostrophe is under threat from local authorities. Yes, it seems that as well as collecting our rubbish, gritting our roads, teaching our children and lighting our streets, local councils are now on a mission to scrap the apostrophe. Well it's good to see that councils are no longer trying to make us all be gay or live in nuclear free zones - they seem to have lowered their sights. In an attempt to become grammar's answer to Pastor Martin Niemöller he claims: "Get rid of apostrophes, then the use of commas and full stops (already happening in many schools and colleges) and what happens to accurate spelling?"

Once again the ConservativeHome team have allowed Nick to make sweeping assertions about teaching and learning in schools, only this time they have let him make sweeping statements about local councils in general.

But it gets worse. He starts to see this so called problem as a threat to society as we know it:

Defending apostrophes and other punctuation is not mere pedantry. Some places have a King's Road and a Kings Road. Lacking a full postcode, which does an ambulance head for in an emergency?

Oh I can just see it now:

Caller: "Hello 999. I'm on Kings Road and there is a serious accident, lots of blood, fire, death and chaos."
Operator: "Is that with or without the apostrophe?"
Caller: "It's the one in the centre of town near Boots"
Operator: "Sorry can't help without the apostrophe information - they'll all have to die."

Or what about his claim:

Ambivalence about spelling is dangerous too. What if a doctor proscribes a drug for someone because they have a life-threatening allergy? Make a mistake about one letter and turn proscribe into prescribe and serious consequences are almost inevitable.

Does he really think doctors use these two words in notes. No of course not - but is makes misspelling scary! Use -ly instead of -ley and the bogie man will get you!

Spelling matters - teachers say so!